It was June 24, two days before my flight home. Our group went to the Trevi Fountain in the heart of Rome. We took a few pictures because the lights and the moon lit up the water with a magnificent glow. After that, I just sat there. I sat there and reflected on the entire trip.

I thought about my time in Paris.

Eurosport allowed us to see the production side of sports. One half of what ESPN does. Then we went to L’Equipe. That was more similar to ESPN in the sense that it had both the journalism side of sports and the production side. It was definitely a smaller operation.

I reflected on the guest speakers.

Anne-Sophie Mondiere is a former Olympic athlete that told us about her journey. In relation to journalism, she talked about how much she hated their pressing questions. After she retired, she couldn’t really figure out what her purpose was in life aside from sport.

Patricia Ansett Kiska has without a doubt left her mark on journalism in the Midwest. But in her stories it seemed like she never had any sort of idea what she was doing with her career. She did so many incredible things but they were all over the place. From a journalist in Detroit working for the Free Press to writing a book about stories in a hospital, she’s always had some sort of twist or turn to her career. There still seems to be a lack of stability.

Jim Bitterman was such an amazing guest. We got to hear him talk about the recent stories he’s done and the guidelines to being a representative of Paris for CNN. He really travelled a lot throughout his career, which ultimately put him in France.

Jane McManus was one of the driving forces towards women in sports journalism at ESPN. Another incredible journalist that took different angles on stories, for example the Ray Rice debacle. But once again, journalism took its course and she found herself getting laid off by ESPN. She didn’t even have job security as one of the top female journalists at the biggest sports journalism company in the country.

Then I turned my train of thought to Rome.

CONI was a really interesting experience. Going there, I expected to tour the building and the facilities and possibly learn a little bit about their role. Instead, the overshadowing paintings overshadowed the entire visit. The fascist impressions on Italy as a nation left the biggest impact on me. Who knows why they keep Mussolini’s symbolic works of art around. It could be because they want to honor their country’s history, but it also could be much more disturbing than that.

On day one, we talked to Suzette Hackney. An incredible journalist and an impressive MSU journalism alum. Her career has taken her across the Midwest as well, but she’s been given the opportunity to speak on her opinion as a columnist for the Indianapolis Star. With such responsibility comes the backlash from trolls and haters that read you. She talked about the ugly emails and letters she’s received simply because she voiced her opinions on national and local issues.

Maria Marconi was so fun. She was an awesome Italian Olympic diver that went through three different Olympics. But once again she spoke on how difficult it was to be a young teenager in the big world of sports. Journalists would come up to her after a bad competition and press her with annoying questions. It made her hate sports journalists.

John Henderson had an overall interesting take on life itself. He never wanted to be a sports journalist but that’s exactly where his career took him. Where a lot of us in the class would’ve been dying to get his job, he said that after a few years he would get bored. He grew up a huge Oregon Ducks fan, but after becoming a sports journalist he felt as if sports had no more passion behind them. He was objective towards results. He was no longer a fan of one team or another. That’s what sports journalism did to him.

Sean-Patrick Lovett. I’ll say this right now, he was the best guest speaker I have ever had the privilege of listening to. Incredible at engaging his audience and teaching us so much in such a short amount of time. He is one of the most intelligent people I know. Although he isn’t really a journalist, he deals with them everyday. I could spend an entire hour talking about how inspiring Sean-Patrick was.

Lastly, we met with Jason Horowitz, a New York Times journalist representing Europe. He told us about all of the responsibilities he has at the Times. One thing he said that really stuck with me was that if you don’t love journalism, it’s not for you. He said “I used to think if you were a great writer, you’d be a great journalist.” But that wasn’t the case for him. It’s about great reporting.

So I’m sitting there at the Trevi Fountain and all of these thoughts are running through my head as thousands of tourists pass by with their amazing families and partners. I thought to myself, what do I want my life to be? How can I get to a point where I am happy in 20 years?

As you can see, a lot of what I took away from my time in Europe was that journalism is not a cake walk. It’s not something you can just half ass your way through and expect to succeed. You can even work as hard as Suzette Hackney or Jane McManus and still not get the respect you deserve. To be honest with you, I thought about changing my major. I got into this major because I love to write and I love sports. I feel like I’m not even working when I write about sports. Sports journalism and journalism in general are totally different animals. I really am not sure what I want anymore.

This trip was life changing.

Sitting at the top of the Eiffel Tower as the lights began to sparkle when the clock struck 10 o’clock is unlike anything I’ll ever do. The views from the top of the Arc de Triomphe are too amazing to comprehend. Seeing the Vatican in person is enough to make you reflect on your purpose in this world. The Amalfi Coast was breathtakingly beautiful to the point where Ben, Brandon and I just sat at the end of the pier and looked at it past sunset for about 45 minutes. And now here I am, sitting at the Trevi Fountain thinking about the big picture.

Don’t get confused. I am so glad I was a part of this study abroad program. I’m just saying that it made me really think about the way my career path as a sports journalist might affect me and my life moving forward.

Like I said, I’m just trying to find happiness in this life. Isn’t everyone?

So how does one find happiness? Is it the items you own or the places you go?

No. It’s about the people. Human connection.

There was no point during this trip where I was bored. I met 14 other students who all have the same passion as me. We love sports journalism. We came on this trip looking for guidance. Looking for some sort of knowledge that will guide us towards a successful career. While we learned a lot, it was the moments we had together that we will remember most. That human connection that is special enough to change your life. Ben Clemens, Brandon Mostyn, Josh Chung, Davey Segal, Chase Michaelson, Brent Hughes, Jalen Couch, Troy Rose, Janise Packnet, Tierra Riddick, Katherine White, Cassi White, Kara Keating and Lauren Gewirtz will always have a special place in my heart. We did this together and we experienced together.

Thinking back on Maria Marconi, Sean-Patrick Lovett, Suzette Hackney, Jane McManus, Jason Horowitz and Jim Bitterman. They are all happy. They worked hard and became successful in their jobs. And no matter what adversity they’ve gone through or where their careers have taken them, they are successful.

That’s all I want. I want to be happy, and all of the people that were a part of this trip (that includes the incredible Joanne Gerstner and Amy Haimerl) helped me find happiness.

This trip changed me because I realized that sports journalism doesn’t have to be something you rely on for happiness and success. It’s a tool towards getting towards happiness. Just like anything, it will take you on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Both positive and negative. But if I work hard and believe in what I’m doing, I will be able to find happiness in this field and with the people I meet along the way.

What a month it was.

To the people, thank you for helping me learn something about myself that I would’ve never known otherwise.

To the places, thank you for showing me what true beauty is.

An unforgettable journey that will stick with me for the rest of my years.